In an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut; 27 people, including 20 young children, were gunned down. The gunman, Adam Lanza, walked into the kindergarten classroom and proceeded to shoot the students. He then shot six adults, and then killed himself. A horrific tragedy to say the least. Of course, immediately after a shooting is reported, we have to begin a debate on gun control laws. Luckily, the good ol’ folks at Fox News are fighting for the 2nd amendment.
We can all agree these instances of horror could be prevented if we had a better mental healthcare system—though, as I write this, it is unknown if the shooter had a history of mental health problems. While we should have better mental healthcare, I fear what those damn liberals will propose. They will probably want everyone to have universal healthcare, and include mental healthcare as well. I want everyone healthy, but don’t ask the tax payers to pay for it. People are responsible for their own healthcare costs. If the poor can’t afford mental healthcare, or physical healthcare, then that is their fault. It is their lot in life and should just deal with it like the good book tells them. Of course, those feeble, bleeding-heart liberals will start spouting off anti-gun rhetoric as the solution in preventing such horrors like this from ever happening again, but they are just a bunch of Marxists trying to steal your freedom. We know the real solution is less gun control. It is the only logical answer. Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team, is on the right track when he says:
One other thing: Those who call for gun control after incidents like this contribute nothing to the solution. Gunmen like Friday’s plan their actions, right down to wearing military garb. They could certainly procure illegal firearms or use incendiary devices to kill. I only wish the kindergarten teacher and principal in Connecticut had been armed.
I agree, if only the principal and the kindergarten teacher had guns, this would have never happened. But I think this is . . . too conservative still. My modest proposal: arm the whole school. I’m not just saying the faculty and staff; arm the students as well. Each one of those kids in that kindergarten class should have been armed with an AK-47—yes, M-16 would be more patriotic, but the AK-47 is shorter and weighs less; it’s just more practical for a child. If every student had had a gun, there is no way this could have happened. The logic is sound: to lessen school shootings we must arm our children. If only we had greater access to guns. Every corner of the school building should have an M-60. Absolutely necessary! Priority legislation that should be passed today. We all know that in nations with strict gun control laws homicide rates are extraordinarily high. In the United Kingdom, where gun control laws are very strict, 722 homicides were reported last year according a UNODC study. In that small government wet-dream, Somalia, where there are no gun control laws—because there really is no government—only 138 reported homicides this year! The nations of Africa understand what true liberty means! If only we all had a gun, we would truly be safe and free. And, if everyone had a gun, we wouldn’t need police—debt crisis resolved.
My call to all parents: if you love your children and you want them safe, buy them an AK-47 this Christmas. I know little Billy really wanted that new Wii-U, but that just turns children into liberal, tree hugging, shroom popping, plumbers. I mean, if you’re going to get them something besides an AK-47, get them an Xbox 360 so they can talk trash to other kids online as they blow them away in online Call of Duty matches!
Don’t allow your child to be helpless. I’m sure nothing would please the grieving families more than to know that more people will be armed, and that there will be more guns in our schools. Call your representatives and tell them to repeal all gun laws. Let’s make our nation safe, and turn our classroom from this: